i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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