Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Its about making memories worth repressing
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
