I love black thongs
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
