Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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