no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
