You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
