if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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