we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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