you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
All I want is dick and wine.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
