It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
