dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
There r osticjed everywhere
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
