Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Someone shit on the floor
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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