You made me cry and you don't even care
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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