He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
