He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
