Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
