so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Randomize
