all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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