i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
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