Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
