we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
He felt like a one man threesome
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
