would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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