Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
