I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
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