I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
We just shotgunned beers for America
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
