He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
