The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
