He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
