marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
