Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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