i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
