I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Hippo gnu deer
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
