i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
