Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize