we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
As shirtless as possible
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
