I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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