While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I need to calm my uterus...
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
