yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
