Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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