i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
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