i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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