dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
