he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
