Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
