OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
