a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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