Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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