What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
