Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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