butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Randomize
