Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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