I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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