let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
So squirting runs in the family.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
