normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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